My Life On A Bike

Logic states that if one rides and trains enough, then an increase in strength will follow. However, as I have already discovered, my body does not follow the rules and I cannot make sense of it all. Sometimes I can ride myself into the ground and continue to ride strong, while other times I fall apart over the simplest of routines. Whatever. The long and short of it is, having a tough day is part of the routine no matter who you are. The real issue is what you do with it.

Handing out advice is always much easier than abiding by it. When your friend tells you, “I just don’t have it today, my legs feel horrible,” you quickly and mindlessly tell them not to worry about it, to take it easy. Yet, turn the tables and you are the one having the bad day, those words don’t hold the soothing salve your wounded soul needs.

Waking up early Saturday morning (on the wrong side of the bed), I could immediately tell this was going to be one of those days for me. We were to meet a group of roadie friends at the Budweiser Brewery for a 52 mile ride. MarkT was back in town for the weekend and his presence always calls for a reunion of the troops for a ride. The promise of there being such a large group of riders was the only reason I decided to follow through with the plan.

From the get go, it was obvious that my legs were dead. I had nothing. It was not a matter of resolve. My legs had survived an intense demanding week of riding and had taken a holiday unbeknown to me. As long as I could soft pedal, things were okay, but as soon as the road grade increased to 1% it felt as though the blood had been siphoned out of my veins. I could not put out the effort necessary to stay with the lead pack.

So, big deal. We all have bad days. Just keep it in the small ring and spin. That would be fine, except for the fact that I didn’t want to get dropped and ride 52 miles by myself in this brutal wind. The route was new to me and I was completely unsure of where to go. I was mad that I could not be up front playing with my friends that I rarely get to ride with anymore. Mikey was here, with broken hands and a broken rib, no less (and yet he can still out ride everyone). Larry the shredder (our dearest friend that we’ve been riding with forever) came for a change in mtn biking to do a road ride with us. Barry and Alexis were here. Heck, Steve was even here. The last time I laid eyes on Steve was 10 years ago when we religiously did the Saturday morning Kennesaw ride with the ultra shredders.

I thought I had been smart enough in my weekly ride routine to allow my legs to recover for today, but obviously I was mistaken. All this “getting older” crap is getting on my nerves and I cannot figure out the new window of recovery time needed. This is where the mind games come into play. You begin to beat yourself up mentally. “What’s wrong with you? Everybody else rode all week and they are fine. You just aren’t doing enough, you need to work harder. Mikey and Robert have 7-8 years on me and yet they ride twice as hard. What is the problem?” That is a dangerous place to be and it is best not to go there. I know that. Abiding by that advice is another matter.

Tough days can be rough. Not the physical aspect of it. Anybody can push their body through a workout no matter how beat you are. Getting one’s mind through the process is the rough part. You have to separate your identity as a cyclist from the performance at that moment in time. Associating who you are as a rider with what you can deliver at any particular ride in time is neither a wise nor safe bet. It took me years before having that revelation, and I have to work just as hard every time to sink my teeth into the meat of those words.

As a perfectionist and performance driven being, a sub par ride can be a devastating occurrence to one’s psyche. Whenever a new cyclist asks me for advice in training, I always stress the importance of how you deal with “off” days. “Do not beat yourself up, just listen to your body, allow yourself to rest, do not dwell on it, eventually the tide will turn and you will get back on track.” I can hand out advice all day long. I am real good at it, sound like a true expert on the subject, and can impress the socks of an innocent first timer. However, when it comes to swallowing my own medicine, I kick and scream and resist it down to the last drop.

In my defense, I have made a little bit of progress in this department, but was still struggling slightly with it today. My biggest problem was just the disappointment of not putting out a good effort with my friends in the A Group. Rather than dwell on that, I decided to enjoy and appreciate the fact that I was able to ride with the B group. I had the opportunity to get to know some of the other folks in our ride group, but never talk to much since I’m usually too occupied with staying in the lead pack. The beautiful emerging Spring colors were grabbing my attention as were the lovely points of interest along the side of the gorgeous back country roads of which we were riding.

The wind was brutal (as it always is on a road ride), and I made sure to be on someone’s wheel at all times. Everyone took a pull except for me. Debra, who has only been riding 3 years, was riding very strong and didn’t hesitate to tow us along. Even the other 3 women in our group did their fair share of work. No one seemed to mind that I was playing the “Hoover” today and sucking their wheel. I met Greg, Kenneth, Missy, and Paula, and I had some time to visit with MarkT, Robin, Debra and Brent. Ever so often, Cam would come back to check on us and herd any strays. Then he would bolt off to catch back up to the A group and inflict his punishment upon them.

It was not an easy ride for me even though I was “taking it easy”, but I got to see my ride through a different light. At the end, we could all still hang out laughing and chatting. No one stood at a distant pointing their finger at me, gasping at my lack of cycling finesse. No one really cared. That’s the point. We tend to be so obsessed with our performance thinking that everyone is taking notes. If I have a bad day then what will they think?!!! They won’t think anything other than, “oh, she must have had a bad day.”

After the ride, I was sure to drink plenty of RapidRecharge and got to bed early. I was ready for a FUN day on Sunday at Raccoon Mtn in Chattanooga for our friend, Michael. He is now the proud owner of Alpha Bikes in Alpharetta, and this would be his last chance to have weekends free for group rides. Cyclesmith organized a Farewell cRASh ride and tons of groupies were scheduled to show. Tough day or not, I was going to be there.

I was not too concerned whether my legs were recovered or not. The ride would be good regardless of how they felt. Raccoon Mtn offers 18 miles of super fun singletrack with sections that have you grinning like a kid riding a rollercoaster at Six Flags. You can make the ride as easy or as hard as you can handle.

We had a fantastic crew ready to roll and enjoy this perfectly beautiful day. Not a cloud in the sky, the air was warming up nicely and no knee warmers were needed for today’s ride. My legs were still not recovered or ready to hammer, but it felt so much better to be playing on the dirt with my friends. It is no secret that I prefer mountain biking over road riding, so perhaps that was just the boost I needed to get through this “tough” little transition. Tough days on the bike do not seem rough at all when you spend it with friends doing what you love.

Drawing one’s identity and confidence through performance is a dangerous thing because you will always disappoint yourself. If you take that angle, then when you have a tough day, you never recover in your mind. If you constantly compare yourself to other riders, you’ll end up pursuing and chasing a person that does not exist. We are all different with varying levels of ability and skill, but we can all work together in orchestrating this beautiful symphony of cycling. Be yourself, ride for yourself, be comfortable with your level of riding and accept the ups and downs. Those tough days on the bike will come, and when they do you have two options: take the smooth road or the rough one. Both roads get you to the same destination. It’s up to you. Tough days don’t have to be rough.